Review: Transformers

Movie: Transformers

Main Actors: Shia LaBaouf, Megan Fox and Optimus Prime (For a complete list, see IMDB)

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Passionate Expressions: There is a military unit that expresses some displeasure and fear in the face of space robot annihilation and I found their opinions believable.

Useless Vulgar Language: There is a lot of vulgar language that is used for the purpose of humor because longer, more thought-out jokes would take away from the amazing robot violence. God’s name is used in vain a couple times.

Sex in a Good Light: Non-existent

Sex in a Bad Light: If you are the kind of guy that fantasizes over hot girls standing in front of or bent over cars in risqué clothing then this movie might be your number one movie of all time.

Manly Violence: There are a few times when a Special Operations team fights against evil robots and it is done very well. It is in fact done so well that I found myself wishing that the movie would focus on the military's role in relation to the Transformers.

Action Violence: This is what this movie is all about. Giant robots from space, destroying each other and all sorts of man-made structures in high-tech, fast moving, iron grounding glory. In terms of this movie being a summer action movie this one delivers all that could be desired. My heart got to pumping quite a few times, I was dizzy more than once and I sucked my giant, overpriced soda dry. So there ya go.

Pointless Violence: They were smart enough to stay away from pointless violence in this one.

Manly Rating: B-

Scorecard
Cinematography: B
Visual Effects: A
Sound/Score: A-
Story: C
Acting: B-


Food to Watch With: I would recommend Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches to help take you back to the day when you walked around with a Transformers lunch box.

Plot Synopsis: This film is exactly what you would expect. Good Robots from space battle with humans against Evil Robots from space for the fate of the Earth and the Universe.

Review: Michael Bay does his best imitation of a Bruckheimer film by spending big on special effects, moving the camera around, randomly inserting dramatic music and cramming every available space with quick jokes and one-line quips. Watching the robots transform from their secret machine identities into there actual selves was more fun then I thought it would be and I wanted to see more of it. There was one character (a secret agent from a super-secret government program) who annoyed me so much that I almost left the theater. In the few times I’ve watched it since, I’ve developed the opinion that he actually acted pretty well, but the editing of his part (how much of him they put in front of us all of a sudden without really introducing us to him) was terrible, so don’t let it throw you.

Life Lessons: Look at the DVD cover, how many life lessons do you think are in there? Ironically there are some lessons, although I don’t think they are the ones the filmmakers were shooting for. The main idea I would like to point out would be the relationship between Shia LaBeouf’s character and his dad. It speaks to the need for a father in a young man's life. To introduce him to new parts of life, to approve of him, and to protect him from a mother that seems intent on treating him and talking to him like he is a child. Another factor that comes into play is, again, centered around Shia. For most of the movie he is a bit of a wimp, unsure and a bit selfish; but he does, in the end, put it behind him and grow up a little bit by being selfless during a final battle between Optimus and Megatron. Fortunately for him, he was able to do this in front of the girl of his dreams. How lucky for him.

Summary: At times it was better than you thought it would be and at times it was worse, so it averaged out in the end to what you would expect of a summer film made about robots from space.

Would I Watch This Again: The odds of me watching this again are directly related to the size of the screen it would be playing on.